she said, using her hand to brush some stale rice off the sofa and taking a seat. We’ve all got jobs, Dan, but we all find time to do other things, too. I struggled to find an answer. We’d be shunted and squeezed onto buses outside and driven home, very slowly during rush hour, on a rainy, rainy London night. We’d been standing, me and this man, waiting for the Central Line train to take us from Holborn to the East End, when the announcement had spluttered and stuttered its way over the tannoy. I started to leaf through the Guardian before realising that I was kidding myself, and picked up the Sun instead. So I did three years of growing up in two weeks. Did I fancy a pint sometime? And blank spaces. busy! RUDY’S - NIGHT It’s New Year’s Eve at Rudy’s, a hole-in-the-wall dive. You enjoy toast, said Hanne, who, because she is Norwegian, likes to be matter-of-fact about things. The silver pocket watch. . And as much as I’d like to believe that, the fact is he was probably just a bloke on a bus. . I had to see how things went. That’s the thing about Buddha; he knows how to have a good time. How would I say yes more? I’ll meet you by Covent Garden Tube station. Which theme parks have you been going to? I got your e-mail. And my friends .

It was something I had to change. Perfectly happy to be me, myself, and ironing.

Several months which changed not just my life, but my entire way of life and my entire attitude to life. And I’m still smiling from what I’ve heard, smiling from what I’ve learned.

n���qxz��:>Ӗ�~�}�����C�1�"�C��so�-��$#��0RDӖص�U�ҏ���[����9�w���T�hS�q�C�9 Oh, we should, though, just think of the . PDF eBook Download . . And the only reason I forced you to imagine me on the verge of undertaking a messy assassination in Las Vegas was to give you an idea of how my life could have gone.

So there was this bloke on a bus last week, who wasn’t a deity or a son of God, and then there was also your diary? endstream endobj startxref

And think about where that yes could have led you. The things that sometimes matter the most. I’m not saying it was all about the bus. No, I’d say. Not on purpose, anyway. We were being asked to leave. This is how Wag chooses to answer the phone sometimes. I already have double glaze throughout my flat.

I couldn’t work out whether it was just coincidence. How are you fixed for Tuesday, Mr. Wallace? I sighed, stood up, and went to get us a round. Open Button . I wouldn’t dare be out on my own after midnight in Las Vegas. You should make more of an effort. When a stranger on a bus advises, "Say yes more," Wallace vows to say yes to every offer, invitation, challenge, and chance. It’s just that being dumped suddenly puts time into perspective. "Of course I was making Shelf Adventure up! So what’s going on? I’m very busy, Hanne.

Which is quite a disquieting idea unless it turns out that the thing you didn’t know about yourself was quite glamorous, like you were a matador or you once freed some slaves, in which case you’d be quite grateful to whoever pointed it out. . The sad fact is, saying no had become a habit. The keys to the car. It would bring back the old me. Because this man next to me . 0000002610 00000 n A stranger on a bus. 0000002174 00000 n

And all it takes to do that is one little word. Or, more accurately, the man sitting next to me on the bus. I just thought it might be nice. 0000001207 00000 n

This was an Indian bloke. BBC America recently and bizarrely dubbed him "one of Britain's most respected journalists," but perhaps Playboy had a more accurate description of him: "F***ing brilliant." I’m not saying my three years with Hanne were wasted, because they weren’t; they were great and warm and loving. I didn’t know what to say. I sat down at my computer and drafted an e-mail. I already have. Six months into a new year I’d slowly begun to realise that all my stories were about last year. I’m just saying, I’ve already got plenty of double glazing, but you shouldn’t let that put you off. And things I’d scribbled out, or hadn’t gone to, or said I couldn’t make. If he had a beard, it was probably Jesus, and if he had a belly, it was probably Buddha. SELECTED EXTRACTS FROM THE DIARY OF A YES MAN. You’ve been here. And I’m sorry.

Three little words of such power. But at the time I just didn’t notice it. Because when you’re drunk, you usually talk about us buying a caravan and moving to Dorset. 0000002252 00000 n

Look, Dan, said Ian. I started to realise that blindly saying yes to everything could well have its complications. This went beyond what Hanne would have called a stupid boy project, because now . When a stranger on a bus advises, "Say yes more, " Wallace vows to say yes to every offer, invitation, challenge, and chance. I’d surrender myself for twenty-four hours, answer everything with a yes, and let opportunity and chance boot me out of this midtwenties crisis. I wanted to turn the clock back and shout yes to all the things I’d mumbled no to. How do I know you’re there? I knew it! None of it was. A day.

. Hey, Wag . ISBN: 9781407062266. I was more saying ‘Do you fancy a pint?’. So, there was a man, said Ian. How this story could have started.

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so . I learned how to iron. Your friends are worried. File Name: Yes Man.pdf Size: 5519 KB Type: PDF, ePub, eBook: Category: Book Uploaded: 2020 Oct 29, 02:13 Rating: 4.6/5 from 902 votes. But I’ve changed. Oh, hang on, though. And I’d look rubbish with a gun. In my mind I was always on the go, always had somewhere to be, always in the thick of things. And hang on—what grandchildren? I mean, I’m going to say yes to everything from now on. Now I would never know what might have happened, who I might have met, what I might have done, where I might have ended up, how different life could have been. . .

Honestly, Ian, I’m a changed man. I started to shop at Habitat and IKEA. It was a security alert. "So, you were making Shelf Adventure up too!

now I was dealing with a whole new way of life. It’s not as if I looked particularly busy. Our journeys home had just gained an hour. That night when you said you couldn’t come out because you’d won a competition to meet Lionel Richie, was that an excuse?

I became the man who’d mastered the white lie. Precisely.

I was smiling, now. Not true at all. A study in my own behaviour. That is the stupidest bloody thing I have ever bloody heard, said Ian, ever the diplomat. There’s time for them. . And you’d see my point, and say yes, and I’d suggest you beat him at chess instead, and you’d walk away shamefaced yet impressed by my wisdom.

That’s the problem with the MTV generation. And slightly out-of-breath, because sometimes when I’m excited and inspired, I tend to leap up stairs, when I should realise that I live on the fourth floor and such exertions do not become me. If there were such a thing as the Grown-up Scouts, I’d probably get a badge for that. But the thing is, none of you knows how right you were!". What do you mean, everything? It is quite incredible how a bus—a simple, red, London bus—can change your life. @�8���X�~f��c�����U&J��]�κ뵠鈝�O�˶���|L��sC=O䥝�k���r�ݯQ�]Xs�kA���w_��U�ty�9t��,������"�,;cڝ�(�dҬ�K�. Suddenly I wanted to do that. I think she may have been on to me. A day of saying yes. A few choice sentences from a complete and utter stranger. Some drunk bloke on a bus mutters something oblique, and you claim it’s changed your life? Not just the big nights or the main events or the frantic celebrations, but to the little things. Never satisfied.

The man who’d send an e-mail instead of attend a birthday. It was a shock to the system, a body blow that had really changed things. To be honest I don’t even know how you crush a garlic with one. So, with pen in hand, I say to you, Life: I am ready! said the man as we jogged through a slanting rain and flashed our travel cards at the bus driver. Nothing apart from missed opportunities.

done something. Would I like a bigger penis? I look forward to receiving your standard text message, saying you can’t make it, and you’re sorry, and we should have fun. And anyway, he wasn’t drunk. What harm could that do? Half a year gone. Nice weather for this! Right. I had to go with the flow. You can come home drunk whenever you like, and you can do as many stupid boy projects as you want.

Who was I going to tell all my stories to when I was old? I decided I needed to tackle the problem quickly and efficiently. Things had been different last year. Would you have a moment to talk about double glazing, sir?

We could have some tea. His words were just the catalyst that kick-started me into action.

He had a beard, but it wasn’t a Jesus beard. And who was going to give me grandchildren? I wish I was the type of person who could read the Guardian before reading the Sun, but even as a kid I’d want to eat the chocolate mousse before I attempted the healthy stuff. Another was from my good friend Wag.

. I mean, I hate rain. And it was. Or maybe it was Buddha! Last year was a year of adventure. So I sneak a chance to glance around. Acres of white lies. I had wasted half my year. What would I do if he suggested four o’clock for a coffee at Covent Garden? Dawson’s Creek?

I was standing in the rain, outside the house of a rich banker in Las Vegas. I bet they’d all got together and painted his privates blue and handcuffed him to the buffet car of a train. %PDF-1.6 %���� . Their names are real, apart from those few cases where I’ve changed a name or detail to save anyone from any obvious embarrassment, or, in one rather central and vital person’s case, just because they thought it would be cool and so asked. The people without passion are the ones who always say no, he’d said moments before, and I’d turned, stunned, to listen. I was already twenty-six, and there wasn’t even a hint of a grandchild down the pipeline! And I have loads of fun new hobbies!

Anything and everything. I don’t want you falling asleep on me. I have loads of fun! I’ve been right here! I’ve never been someone who would have made an effective stalker, for one thing, lacking as I do both the necessary energies and a decent pair of binoculars. . . . And inspired.

I filled the kettle and scratched around in the cupboard, looking for something to eat. Can I ask you, would you be interested in a free, no-obligation quote for double glaze on your property, Mr. Wallace? Okay. We’d been talking about what we’d been up to in the week. Um . Who could spot an invitation coming a mile away and head it off at the pass. The sentence had tripped off the man’s tongue like he’d been saying it all his life.

And you can’t mend a relationship with a garlic crusher. . Or Buddha, for that matter. Category: Page: 432. Recently single, Danny Wallace was falling into loneliness and isolation.

the job, the mortgage, the staying in more.

The important times, the carefree times, the times I’d look back on as the times of my life. That’s just the thing, I said, finishing my pint and looking him dead in the eye. And a pension.

The man and I had raised our eyebrows at each other and smiled in a what’s the world coming to way. Danny Wallace is a cult leader, a producer, and a comedian. New Penis Patch Technology now means thousands of men just like you can . And Hanne was right. That was quite obviously a lie.

You’re not doing this . Sadly this is not me saying that. It had been just ten minutes since the man on the bus had uttered his words of wisdom, and I was excited. Having early nights. But there will be no more excuses. We’ll be at the pub at eight.