Some people want to marry a career-driven person, but would you be able to live with one? Knowing the answers to these questions will help you know what makes you happy as an individual. Re-write your new “ideal partner” wish list based on the person you know yourself to be. This time, the items on my list seemed far from the requests of six year-old who is throwing a temper tantrum and expecting the other person to heal them.

The reverse is also true, where someone’s charm or beauty or friendliness was a distraction from how fundamentally different they were.

It’s really cool to have a list of qualities for what you’re looking for in a partner. However, we can also include a number of “dumb” items on our lists, and unless someone meets absolutely every one of them down to the T, then they get written off. After you’ve contemplated the specific qualities that are important to you in a partner, write your list out in ink on a beautiful sheet of stationary. If you want a partner who is driven, you have to have drive yourself! First, the cons.

How do you find inspiration in life?

It was watermarked all over my wish list. Some of these can be quite worthwhile and important.

A big one in the Christian community is “I want to marry a pastor”, and yet their lifestyle does not reflect this in anyway.

But somehow this one perfect person now has to carry the weight of your world because you haven’t developed some other relationships. Obviously, there is no ideal person.

Relationship Hack: Lovesickness, Symptoms And It’s Cure, Post Comments But my happiness does not depend on it. It’s not just Girlfriend magazine that has tackled this question before.

Back before the internet was so mainstream, there were these things called “magazines”. Often times we brush these aside but in the long run these are actually very important. Here are a few steps to get you going in that direction: Instead of worrying about how you’re pleasing your partner, your boss, your family or your friends, bring your energy back to yourself. That would mean in a similar way being with someone who is highly visible and supporting them through the challenges of having the attention of various numbers of people. Con #1: When it contains surface-level items listed as a necessity. Be the person who does exactly that for others, and remember to keep it in mind in the pursuit of marriage. But there may be some needs and desires in your life that are more heavily emphasized due to personal insecurity or loss. Sometimes they’ve been repulsed by the potential interest of a man or a woman in themselves, but after revisiting what they’re looking for, they saw that there was something really worthwhile in giving it a shot. After all, how can you find something if you don’t know what you’re looking for?

If our expectations are high, consider realistically assessing what we have to offer. The key is not feeling pressured to create a perfect list and taking your time to complete this process.

They’re going to hurt you. So here are 6 pros and cons (3 of each) taken in the Ideal Partner List approach.

The ideal partner is open and undefended, and is willing to be vulnerable. “I love taking hot showers even in summer,” “I enjoy a quiet dinner with a few good people rather than large parties where everyone gets lost”, “My dad calls my mom at work every day. If I am here today, enjoying the peace of this knowing, anyone can get here. For some of us these things may not matter but we still need to consider them to rule out their importance.

Even the most loving, generous, handsome, gorgeous, perfect little bundle of luvvy-dubby is going to have a season of not being so loving or generous or perfect. People grow, change and shed old skin at unpredictable times. Not as if I wanted a partner to grow and reach deeper levels of intimacy with. A lot of people say they want someone who can be strong where they are weak, who can help them when they’re feeling down, and who can support them through the tough times.

It could take days or weeks, which is perfectly OK. Knowing this, look at your list from Step 2 and ask yourself, "Am I embodying these qualities, too?"

Are our expectations realistic? Change and embellish this process as you like and don’t pressure yourself. We all want others to give us room to grow, and grace to cover the days when we seem to be moving in reverse. So here are 6 pros and cons (3 of each) taken in the Ideal Partner List approach. Or how about wanting to date someone with lots of influence and leadership? You will be disappointed at points. I let them reveal who they are and I reveal who I am in time, and see if there is enough overlap for us to continue. Common interests & hobbies can be very beneficial for long term relationships.

Don't overlook these things just because they aren't "romantic" to think about. Until next time, boys and girls! 6 Overlooked Qualities In a Person You Should Date, A White Male Conservative’s Thoughts On Donald Trump, An Open Letter to Tired Christian Leaders, 2014 – The Year I Didn’t Think I’d Survive, 6 Things You Should Know If You’re Losing Hope, 7 Reasons You’re Unhappy in Your 20s and 30s, 7 Good and Bad Things About Tinder – LoveSolutions, 10 Ways To Minimize Fights In Marriage and Love, People Who Love And Create Drama Have One Thing In Common, Amazing Shows From Japan: 15 of the Best Anime… Ever, Why “I’ll Know It When I See It” In Love Doesn’t (Usually) Work. Create an avatar for the partner who would complement you and who can support you in becoming the man/woman you are here to be. I’ve seen some friends start the pursuit that ends in marriage by honestly considering the people they’ve met against what they’re looking for. In a lot of these cases, these people were challenged by their friends with the question, “Is the only thing stopping you dating this person their race?”. Examine the non-negotiable needs.

Create an avatar for the partner who would complement you and who can support you in becoming the man/woman you are here to be. 2. Everything I Learned After Giving Up On Dating In 2019, 5 Ways Love For Yourself Will Help You Let Go After A Breakup, 8 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was Diagnosed With Herpes, The Five Non-Negotiable Things I Look For In A Partner, Maneuvering Modern Love As A Sexual Abuse Survivor, This Is How To Find Love As A Woman With A Disability, 8 Things I Learned From My Relationship That Changed My Cynical Mind About Love,

Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A lot of us have the view that “I’ll know it when I see it”. Since the answer was yes and they realized it wasn’t the most important thing in the world, they’re now happily kicking it together. Some of these can be quite worthwhile and important. Some areas to think about may include religion, political affiliation, whether to have children, a certain level of fitness, similar values, & emotional or financial stability. And so does she.” Get to know you. Yet, knowing exactly what we want helps eliminate random relationships that turn out to be more trouble than they are worth. What do you do when you feel sad, lonely, or upset? Get a little notebook to carry with you at all times and write down everything about you. The key is not feeling pressured to create a perfect list and taking your time to complete this process. The ability to be monogamous or to satisfy you sexually. I love hearing sometimes the things that people list as what they want in their ideal partner regarding what they want to do with their life. I mean, we never fully work out exactly the person we end up with – just look at your parents. He is not responsible for making me happy. Our values beliefs, attitudes towards world & politics & religion whether you believe in a specific one or don't believe in one at all, are very important to us. The reason I’ve listed this first is because I know many couples who are now dating or married only after negotiating around some of these “non-negotiables”. For instance, historically, I am attracted to men who can fix anything around the house and find ingenious ways to overcome a problem they encounter while doing that. It could take days or weeks to complete.

This may lead to productive growth between you, or important conversations about different perspectives that you should both be aware of. And finding some people you can be open and honest with about what’s on your list is even better. Are they willing to give it up or will we be able to tolerate that for the rest of our life? After seeing my belief system, expectations, and how I approached relationships, the reality of it all sat in my stomach for a couple of days. We certainly have a right to a preference. These are then things we pass down to our children. Determine if we would compromise on any of them. This is a good time to get some input from your close friends and your immediate family. The more things on the non-negotiable list of qualifications, the more difficult it will be to satisfy them all. Therefore it's very important that our partner has the same beliefs & values as us, especially if we plan to have children.

That is the gateway to knowing what to look for in a partner who is ideal for you. We've drawn a sketch of our ideal partner with which to work. Are you going to belittle and demean and get depressed and throw the word “divorce” around like there’s no tomorrow and feel justified in cheating? In order to avoid all the fuss, drama & regret, consider the list-of-things-to-consider-in-an-ideal-partner below. My purpose was to get closer to myself by getting clear on who I am and who would complement me (not complete me). If not, you have a little work to do. Bad character is something that is much harder to get used to.

There was an undertone of entitlement in my wishes.

What takes away your trust and what keeps it strong? I’ll open this by saying that this approach is a really good one to take. What makes you feel cared about? What are the qualities that this person would absolutely need for it to work? But nonetheless, when you’re looking to find a place, you check the map.

Another thing to consider is knowing our partner's habits. I want someone who is kind and caring not just to me but to other people. Your ideal partner should be willing to compromise at some point. Atom Look at how many mistakes you may have made, or friends may have made, because something looked and smelled like the right thing, but turned out being nothing but regret and unhealthy compromise. Here are the pros and cons of “The List” approach. Now list the areas in which we are unwilling to compromise. It was hard to ignore.

Who really knows what they want? This way we will have stuff to do together & will always have something to talk about. We know that we can’t define people by lists and expect them to stay that way all the time.